If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
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