Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Randomize
