Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
Randomize
