i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
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