first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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