I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Randomize
