How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
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