Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize