I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
