I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
