Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
I hope mine doesn't look like that
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize
