i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
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