I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
bring money and cleavage
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
Randomize
