He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
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