I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
