Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
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