he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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