no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Randomize
