I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
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