She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
you win again, gameday.
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Randomize
