I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
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