Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
Come see our sink grown plant.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Randomize
