after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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