three words: i give head
three words: not that well
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
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