so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
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