Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
I just want to make out with him forever
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
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