don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
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