so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
Randomize
