You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
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