non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Randomize
