Sry I called you an 8
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
Randomize
