I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
Randomize
