i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
