Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
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