We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
Randomize