Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
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