Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Randomize
