i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
Randomize
