I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
Randomize
