Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
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