It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
