I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
