I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
I have already put on my inside pants.
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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