Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
