she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
