all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize
