By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
