I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize
