now i know why i became what i already was.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Randomize
