just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
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