Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
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