Well apparently he's into motor boating.
i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
Bring me that man meat
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
Randomize
