Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Randomize
