bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
operation have a gay friend backfired
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
Randomize
