I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
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