So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
Randomize
