3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize
