YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
Randomize