I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
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pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
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